the horror thoughts of giving birth.

I was visiting my salesman's wife at the hospital this morning. She just gave birth to this really cute handsome baby boy. And I asked Septi (the wife) how the labor was.

"Is it painful?"
"Did they have to cut your va-jay-jay?"
"Can u feel when they cut your thing?"
"When they stitch them up, did you feel anything?"

And she goes.. "nope.. not really.. I think the pain of the cutting is not as painful as the contraction.."
and then I asked :"is it as bad as when you drink laxative and you really have to go?"
she laughed and told me :"compared to that?? this is waaay worst!"

and my face turned white.
and I told myself : I can't do that.. I just cant!
why?
well let me tell you why..

once upon a time during the silly days at Singapore, I got food poisoning.

I was sooo hungry that day, but I got so lazy to go downstairs to go to the nearest Kopitiam and get me some food. So I just start looking for instant noodles.
I saw a package at the corner of the drawer in the kitchen.
I cooked the noodle happily,
and eat like a pig.

2 hours later..
.
.
.
.
I start having this REALLY BAD STOMACHACHE!!
and to add up the spice, I can't even fart!!!
and I start puking like preggers.
what the hell???
the pain was so unbearable,
I just hold my stomach and curl like a shrimp, hoping for it to go away,
I can't even poo!!!!
I don't have the strength to poo..
I don't have the talent to PUSH!
man.

luckily moments later, after the shot (yes, they have shots for food poisoning) the pains kinda goes away, so I can poo in peace.
lesson well learned.

I really have to start practicing pushing other stuffs out of me before I push a baby out of my va-jay-jay!!

so for all of you out there lazy peeps who won't push...
You have TO START PRACTICE PUSHING FOR THE SAKE OF YOUR BABY!!!

practice practice practice!!

start pooping, now!